SMS Dictionary

Girlfriend: And are you sure you love me and no one else?
Boyfriend: Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday

Waiter: Would you like your coffee black?
Customer: What other colors do you have?

Manager: Sorry, but I can’t give u a job. I don’t need much help.
Job Applicant: That’s all right. In fact I’m just the right person in this case. You see, I won’t be of much help anyway!!

Dad: Son, what do u want for ur birthday?
Son: Not much dad, Just a radio with a sports car around it.

Diner: I can’t eat such a rotten chicken. Call the manager!
Waiter: It’s no use. He won’t eat it either.
Diner: You’ll drive me to my grave!
Waiter: Well, you don’t expect to walk there, do you?

Husband: U know, wife, our son got his brain from me.
Wife: I think he did, I’ve still got mine with me!

Man: Officer! There’s a bomb in my garden!
Officer: Don’t worry. If no one claims it within three days, you can keep it.

Father: Your teacher says she finds it impossible to teach you anything!
Son: That’s why I say she’s no good!

If all the nations in the world are in debt(i am not joking. Even US has got debts), where did all the money go? (weird).

When dog food is new with improved tasting, who tests it? (to be given a thought).

What is the speed of darkness? (absurd).

If the “black box” flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn’t the whole airplane made out of that stuff? (very good thinking).

Who copyrighted the copyright symbol? (who knows).

Can you cry under water? (let me try).

Why do people say, “you’ve been working like a dog” when dogs just sit around all day? (I think they meant something else).

Why are the numbers on a calculator and a phone reversed? (God knows.)

Do fish ever get thirsty? (let me ask and tell).

Can you get cornered in a round room? (by ones eyes).

What does OK actually mean?.

Why do birds not fall out of trees when they sleep? (tonight I will stay and watch).

What came first, the fruit or the color orange? (seed).

What should one call a male ladybird? (No comments).

If a person suffered from amnesia and then was cured would they remember that they forgot? (can somebody help).

Can you blow a balloon up under water? (yes you can).

Why is it called a “building” when it is already built? (strange isn’t it).

If you were traveling at the speed of sound and you turned on your radio would you be able to hear it? (got to think scientifically) .

If you’re traveling at the speed of light and you turn your headlights on, what happens? (I didn’t had a chance to try).

Why is it called a TV set when theres only one? (very nice).

If a person owns a piece of land do they own it all the way down to the core of the earth? (this is nice?).

Why do most cars have speedometers that go up to at least 130 when you legally can’t go that fast on any road? (stupid, break the law).

Put about 100 bricks in some
Particular order in a closed
Room with an
Open window.

Then send 2 or 3 candidates in
The room and close the door.

Leave them alone and come back
After 6 hours and then analyze
The situation.

If they are counting the
Bricks.
Put them in the accounts
Department.

If they are recounting them..
Put them in auditing .

If they have messed up the
Whole place with the bricks.
Put them in engineering.

If they are arranging the
Bricks in some strange order.
Put them in planning.

If they are throwing the
Bricks at each other.
Put them in operations ..

If they are sleeping.
Put them in security.

If they have broken the bricks
Into pieces.
Put them in information
Technology.

If they are sitting idle.
Put them in human resources.

If they say they have tried
Different combinations, yet
Not a brick has
Been moved. Put them in sales.

If they have already left for
The day.
Put them in marketing.

If they are staring out of the
Window.
Put them on strategic
Planning.

And then last but not least.
If they are talking to each
Other and not a single brick
Has been
Moved.

Congratulate them and put them
In top management.