SMS Dictionary

If we were to Honestly reply to all the HR Questions they would go something like this

1. Why did you apply for this job?
I have applied for many jobs along with this and you called me now.

2. Why do you want to work for this company?
I have to work for some company who ever gives me a job, I don’t have any specific company in mind.

3. Why should I hire you?
You have to hire some one, you may give me a try.

4.What would you do if we hire you?
Well, it depends on my mindset but I will try to work on whatever is allotted to me.

5.What is your biggest strength?
Basically, daring to join any company who pays me well, without thinking of the fate of company.

6.What is your biggest weakness?
Girls

7.What was your worst mistake, and how did you learn from it?
Joining my earlier company and learn that I need to jump to get more money, so I am here today!

8. What accomplishments in your last position are you most proud of?
Had I accomplished any in my last position, why do I need to change my job? I could demand more and stay there.

9.Describe a challenge you faced and how you overcame it?
Biggest challenge is answering the question “why are you looking for a change” and I started blabbering irrelevantly to overcome that.

10.Why did you leave/ are you leaving your last job?
For the same reason why you left your earlier job… more money

11.What do you want from this job?
If no work is given but keep giving good hikes

12.What are your career goals and how do you plan to achieve them?
Make more money and for that keep jumping companies for every 2 yrs

13.Did you hear of our company and what do you know of us?
Yeah, I know that you will ask this, I’ve gone through your website

14.What is the salary expected and how do u justify that?
Well, no one will change job for the same salary, hence, give me 20% extra than what I am getting and that is unpublished industry standard (I know you will bargain on what ever I ask, hence, I have already hiked my current salary by 30%).

A nice story about the importance of a woman…

Why are you crying, a young boy asked his Mom?

“Because I’m a woman,” she told him.
“I don’t understand,” he said.

His Mom just hugged him and said,
“And you never will, but that’s O.K.”…….

Later the little boy asked his father, “Why does Mom seem to cry for no reason?”.
“All women cry for no reason,” was all his Dad could say……

The little boy grew up and became a man,
still wondering why women cry.

Finally he put in a call to God and when God got back to him, he asked
“God, why do women cry so easily?”

GOD answered…. .. “When I made woman,
I decided she had to be special.
I made her shoulders strong enough to carry the weight of the world,
yet, made her arms gentle enough to give comfort… !

I gave her the inner strength, to endure childbirth and the rejection
that many times will come even from her own children.

I gave her a hardness that allows her to keep going and take care of her family and friends,
even when everyone else gives up, through sickness and fatigue without complaining. …

I gave her the sensitivity to love her children under any and all circumstances.
Even when her child has hurt her badly….

She has the very special power to make a child’s boo-boo feel better and to quell a teenager’s anxieties and fears….

I gave her strength to care for her husband,
despite faults and I fashioned her from his rib to protect his heart….

I gave her wisdom to know that a good husband never hurts his wife,
but sometimes tests her’s strengths and her resolve to stand beside him unfalteringly. …

For all of this hard work, I also gave her a tear to shed.
It is hers to use whenever needed and it is her only weakness….
When you see her cry, tell her how much you love her,
and all she does for everyone, and even though she may still cry,
you will have made her heart feel good.
She is special!
send this to all the women you know, and those with mothers, sisters, and special women in their lives.
But, also send this to men so they will understand about what a wonderful thing a woman is!

One fine day, a bus driver went to the bus garage, started his bus, and drove off along the route. No problems for the first few stops – a few people got on, a few got off, and things went generally well.

At the next stop, however, a big hulk of a guy got on. Six feet eight,built like a wrestler, arms hanging down to the ground. He glared at the driver and said, “Big John doesn’t pay!” and sat down at the back.

Did I mention that the driver was five feet three, thin, and basically meek? Well, he was. Naturally, he didn’t argue with Big John, but he wasn’t happy about it. The next day the same thing happened – Big John got on again, made a show of refusing to pay, and sat down. And the next day, and the next.

This grated on the bus driver, who started losing sleep over the way Big John was taking advantage of him. Finally he could stand it no longer. He signed up for body building courses, karate, judo, and all that good stuff.

By the end of the summer, he had become quite strong; what’s more, he felt really good about himself. So on the next Monday, when Big John once again got on the bus and said, “Big John doesn’t pay!”

The driver stood up, glared back at the passenger, and screamed, “And why not?”

With a surprised look on his face, Big John replied, “Big John has a bus pass.”

Management Lesson: “Be sure there is a problem in the first place before working hard to solve one.”

kisi ney loot Liya dil ka Nagar zamana huwa

na mila rah mein koi shajar zamana huwa
huwa na khatm mera safar zamana huwa

kiya tabassum key pathraa gai nazar ab to
kisi ney loot liya dil ka nagar zamana huwa

wo naqsh-e-pa ki surat rah mein chhor gaya
nazar bichaaey sar-e-rah guzar zamana huwa

naa jaaney dil sey wo kaisi chaal chal jaaey
bisat-e-ishq pe jamaaey nazar zamana huwa

mein bikhar jaaonga, qismat sey bhi lar jaonga
teri chahat mein dushamn agar zamana huwa

tu hi ab maan ley aey dost khuda sey mujhey
meri duaaein huwyey bey asar zamana huwa

aa meri banhon mein choom loon lab o ariz
hamsafar tujh se miley toot ker zamana huwa

han dil ki baat sabat tujh se bayan kerta hey
mila naa tujh saa koi moatbar zamana huwa by saim sabat.

A little girl asked her father: How did the human race appear? The father answered: God made Adam and Eve and they had children and so was all mankind made.

Two days later she asks her mother the same question. The mother answered: Many years ago there were monkeys from which the human race was developed. The confused girl returns to her father and says: Dad how is it possible that you told me that the human race was created by God and Mom says they were developed from monkeys.

The father replied: Well dear, it is very simple. I told you about the origin of my side of the family, while your Mom told you about her side…