SMS Dictionary

The Legend of Thiruvonam

Declared as a tourist festival by the Government, Onam or Thiruvonam has been celebrated as the highpoint of the harvesting season. Onam comes during August-September or Chingom, the Malayalam month. For ten days before Thiruvonam, the front yard of homes is decorated with a special carpet-like design of flowers or Athapoovu. The clay idol of Thrikkakkara Appan is placed in the middle of the decorated area.

On Thiruvonam, prayers are offered at temples in the morning. Everyone wears new clothes and presents are distributed to family members. A feast of delicious Kerala food is served on banana leaves for the family. Thiruvonam is also the time for home-coming, community feasting and a host of cultural programmes. Sporting encounters are organized for men and women of all ages on that day and the big attraction in the cities are the boat races, which draws thousands of tourists.

Thiruvonam is held to honour King Mahabali, a mythological king of ancient Kerala, whose reign was considered the golden age in the history of the state. The king had all the virtues and his regime was marked by equality and harmony. However, the golden age ended abruptly ended when Vamana, the dwarf incarnation of Vishnu, unseated Mahabali. Before giving up his throne, Mahabali asked one favour: to visit his people once a year. And the day he comes to Kerala is Thiruvonam, the tenth day in the month of Chingom. Mahabali’s visit also coincides with the harvesting season in Kerala.

Onam, the harvest festival

When Maveli, our King, rules the land,
All the peoples form one casteless race.
And people live joyful and merry;
They are free from all harm.
There is neither theft nor deceit,
And no one is false in speech either.
Measures and weights are right;
No one cheats or wrongs the neighbor.
when Maveli, our King, rules the land,
All the peoples form one casteless race.’

Dear Manager (HR),

Vimal, my assistant programmer, can always be found

Hard at work in his cubicle. Vimal works independently, without

Wasting company time talking to colleagues. Vimal never

Thinks twice about assisting fellow employees, and he always

Finishes given assignments on time. Often Vimal takes extended

Measures to complete his work, sometimes skipping coffee

Breaks. Vimal is a dedicated individual who has absolutely no

Vanity in spite of his high accomplishments and profound

Knowledge in his field. I firmly believe that Vimal can be

Classed as a high-calibre employee, the type which cannot be

Dispensed with. Consequently, I duly recommend that Vimal be

Promoted to executive management, and a proposal will be

Sent away as soon as possible.

Signed – Project Leader

NB: That stupid idiot was reading over my shoulder when I wrote the report

Sent to you earlier today. Kindly read only the odd lines (1, 3, 5, 7, 9,11, 13)

For my true assessment of him.

************ *****

TEACHER : What is the chemical formula for water?
PAPPU : “HIJKLMNO ! “!!

TEACHER : What are you talking about?
PAPPU : Yesterday you said it’s H to O !

************ *****

TEACHER : PAPPU, go to the map and find North America.
PAPPU : Here it is!

TEACHER : Correct. Now, class, who discovered America?
CLASS : PAPPU!

************ *****

TEACHER : PAPPU, how do you spell “crocodile”?
PAPPU : “K-R-O-K-O-D- A-I-L”

TEACHER : No, that’s wrong
PAPPU : Maybe it’s wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!

************ *****

TEACHER : PAPPU, give me a sentence starting with “I”.
PAPPU : I is…

TEACHER : No, PAPPU. Always say, “I am.”
PAPPU : All right… “I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.”

************ *****

TEACHER : “Can anybody give an example of ” COINCIDENCE?”

PAPPU : “Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day, same time.”

************ *****

TEACHER : “George Washington not only chopped down his father’s Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn’t punish him?”

PAPPU : “Because George still had the axe in his hand?”

************ *****

PAPPU : Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt?
FATHER : No. Why do you ask that?
PAPPU: Well, where did you get THIS mummy then?

************ *****

TEACHER : What a pair of strange socks you are wearing, one is green and one is blue with red spots !

PAPPU: Yes it’s really strange. I’ve got another pair just like that at home.

************ *****

TEACHER : Now, PAPPU, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating ?

PAPPU: No sir, I don’t have to , my mom is a good cook.

************ *****

TEACHER : PAPPU, your composition on “My Dog” is exactly the same as yourbrother’s. Did you copy his ?

PAPPU: No, teacher, it’s the same dog !

************ ****

TEACHER : What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?

PAPPU: A teacher

” Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?”

“It’s amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world everyday always just exactly fits the newspaper.”

“If it were not for Thomas Edison, we would all be watching television in the dark.”

“Computers will never take the place of books. You can’t stand on a floppy disk to reach a high shelf.”

“An consultant is someone who takes a subject you understand and makes it sound confusing.”

“Love is so confusing – you tell a girl she looks great and what’s the first thing you do?Turn out the lights! ”

“I don’t suffer from stress. I’m a carrier.”

“The male is a domestic animal which, if treated with firmness and kindness, can be trained to do most things.”

“I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.”

“Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.”

“Never argue with a fool. People might not know the difference.”

“The guy who invented the first wheel was an idiot; The guy who invented the other three, he was the genius. ”

Day by day teri khusiya ho jaye Double,(In Urdu)
Day by day teri khusiya ho jaye Double,
Teri zindagi se delete ho jaye sare Trouble,
Khuda rakkhe humesha tuje Smart & Fit,
Tera liye New Year ho Super-Duper Hit!!

Naye saal aaye banke ujale, (In Urdu)
Naye saal aaye banke ujale,
Khul jaye aap ki kismat ka tale,
Hamesha aap pe rahe meherban Oparwale,
Chand tare bhi aap pe hi rosni dale.
Happy New year.

In Year 2006 may God…would be your Best Friend,
In Year 2006 may God…would be your Best Friend,He Loves you Deeper, always Bless on You ,God Always Guide You & Carry you…Happy New Year 2006..

You know God arrange for you..
You know God arrange for you..
12 Months of Love,
52 Weeks Non Stop Fun,
& 365 days of Happiness.
So when you Mixed them all..
You will found a Very Happy Year! & I think it’s 2006 My Dear.

Hi My Very Special Friend..
Hi My Very Special Friend..I pray you lay in rest,God bless you always & may New Year 2006..Bring you a lot of Love & Happiness.

A Relaxed Mind, A Peaceful Soul,
A Relaxed Mind, A Peaceful Soul, A Joyful Spirit, A Healthy Body & Heart full of Love..All these are my Prayers for You..Wish a Happy New Year 2006.

I Wish a wish for You Dear.
I Wish a wish for You Dear.. Sending you Big bunch of Wishes from the Heart close to where..Wish you a Very Very Happy New Year..

Hope The New Year brings a lot of good cheer for you
Hope The New Year brings a lot of good cheer for you, May all Your Dreams Will be True, Hope the year also bring Gigabyte of Fun, Happy New Near and good luck with your Resolution..

Throughout the Coming Year
Throughout the Coming Year may your life be filled with little celebration of Happiness… Wishes you a Bright, Happy and Prosperous New Year 2008 with God Bless…

Put about 100 bricks in some
Particular order in a closed
Room with an
Open window.

Then send 2 or 3 candidates in
The room and close the door.

Leave them alone and come back
After 6 hours and then analyze
The situation.

If they are counting the
Bricks.
Put them in the accounts
Department.

If they are recounting them..
Put them in auditing .

If they have messed up the
Whole place with the bricks.
Put them in engineering.

If they are arranging the
Bricks in some strange order.
Put them in planning.

If they are throwing the
Bricks at each other.
Put them in operations ..

If they are sleeping.
Put them in security.

If they have broken the bricks
Into pieces.
Put them in information
Technology.

If they are sitting idle.
Put them in human resources.

If they say they have tried
Different combinations, yet
Not a brick has
Been moved. Put them in sales.

If they have already left for
The day.
Put them in marketing.

If they are staring out of the
Window.
Put them on strategic
Planning.

And then last but not least.
If they are talking to each
Other and not a single brick
Has been
Moved.

Congratulate them and put them
In top management.

Take twelve whole months.
Clean them thoroughly of all bitterness,
hate, and jealousy.
Make them just as fresh and clean as possible.

Now cut each month into twenty-eight, thirty, or
thirty-one different parts,
but don’t make up the whole batch at once.
Prepare it one day at a time out of these ingredients.

Mix well into each day one part of faith,
one part of patience, one part of courage,
and one part of work.
Add to each day one part of hope,
faithfulness, generosity, and kindness.
Blend with one part prayer, one part meditation,
and one good deed.
Season the whole with a dash of good spirits,
a sprinkle of fun, a pinch of play,
and a cupfull of good humor.

Pour all of this into a vessel of love.
Cook thouroughly over radient joy,
garnish with a smile,
and serve with quietness, unselfishness,
and cheerfulness.
You’re bound to have a happy new year.

~Author Unknown~

There is a fable about the way birds first got their wings. The story goes that initially they were made without them. Then God made the wings, set them down before the wingless birds, and said to them, “Take up these burdens and carry them.”

The birds had sweet voices for singing, and lovely feathers that glistened in the sunshine, but they could not soar in the air. When asked to pick up the burdens that lay at their feet, they hesitated at first. Yet soon they obeyed, picked up the wings with their beaks, and set them on their shoulders to carry them. For a short time the load seemed heavy and difficult to bear, but soon, as they continued to carry the burden and to fold the wings over their hearts, the wings grew attached to their little bodies. They quickly discovered how to use them and were lifted by the wings high into the air. The weights had become wings.

This is a parable for us. We are the wingless birds, and our duties and tasks are the wings God uses to lift us up and carry us heavenward. We look at our burdens and heavy loads, and try to run from them, but if we will carry them and tie them to our hearts, they will become wings. And on them we can then rise and soar toward God.

The heavy burdens when lifted cheerfully with love in our hearts will surely become a blessing to us. God intends for our tasks to be our helpers; to refuse to bend our shoulders to carry a load is to miss the new opportunity for growth. No matter how overwhelming, any burden God has lovingly placed with His own hands on our shoulders is a blessing.

My mom whispers from Heaven:
“My child, my Spirit is calm,
No more tears or pain, I´m floating in Eden.
I´m watching down you, my son.”

I am sitting by the Lord.
His Majesty at His Throne.
This place is all glittering, beyond Stars.
It´s Heaven, just like when you were born.

I miss you, my child!!
I´d like to wipe your tears away,
For what we´ll see each other, one day.
So, no more tears, I should say.

From the daybreak of birth,
To the frontier of death,
You and I had the Bond of belonging.
My child, my heart sparkles a sense of longing,
Since the last time I saw your eyes.

Golden songs, bright Angels play.
The moonlight reflects upon the bay.
The gentle breeze softly touches the trees.
The morning dew moistens the leaves.

The majestic views of God´s Creation
Are all at my feet.
I´ll be here, when you and I´d meet.
Until then, I´ll be gone in the mist.

Airlines
Indian Airlines – 1800 180 1407
Jet Airways – 1800 22 5522
Spice Jet – 1800 180 3333
Air India — 1800 22 7722
Kingfisher – 1800 180 0101

Banks
ABN AMRO – 1800 11 2224
Canara Bank – 1800 44 6000
Citibank – 1800 44 2265
Corporation Bank – 1800 443 555
Development Credit Bank – 1800 22 5769
HDFC Bank – 1800 227 227
ICICI Bank – 1800 333 499
ICICI Bank NRI – 1800 22 4848
IDBI Bank – 1800 11 6999
Indian Bank – 1800 425 1400
ING Vysya – 1800 44 9900
Kotak Mahindra Bank – 1800 22 6022
Lord Krishna Bank – 1800 11 2300
Punjab National Bank – 1800 122 222
State Bank of India – 1800 44 1955
Syndicate Bank – 1800 44 6655

Automobiles
Mahindra Scorpio – 1800 22 6006
Maruti – 1800 111 515
Tata Motors – 1800 22 5552
Windshield Experts – 1800 11 3636

Computers/IT
Adrenalin – 1800 444 445
AMD – 1800 425 6664
Apple Computers – 1800 444 683
Canon – 1800 333 366
Cisco Systems – 1800 221 777
Compaq – HP – 1800 444 999
Data One Broadband – 1800 424 1800
Dell – 1800 444 026
Epson – 1800 44 0011
ESys – 3970 0011
Genesis Tally Academy – 1800 444 888
HCL – 1800 180 8080
IBM – 1800 443 333
Lexmark – 1800 22 4477
Marshal’s Point – 1800 33 4488
Microsoft – 1800 111 100
Microsoft Virus Update – 1901 333 334
Seagate – 1800 180 1104
Symantec – 1800 44 5533
TVS Electronics – 1800 444 566
WeP Peripherals – 1800 44 6446
Wipro – 1800 333 312
Xerox – 1800 180 1225
Zenith – 1800 222 004

Railway
Indian Railway General Enquiry 131
Indian Railway Central Enquiry 131
Indian Railway Reservation 131
Indian Railway Railway Reservation Enquiry 1345, 1335, 1330
Indian Railway Centralised Railway Enquiry 1330/1/2/3/4/ 5/6/7/8/9

Couriers/Packers & Movers
ABT Courier – 1800 44 8585
AFL Wizz – 1800 22 9696
Agarwal Packers & Movers – 1800 11 4321
Associated Packers P Ltd – 1800 21 4560
DHL – 1800 111 345
FedEx – 1800 22 6161
Goel Packers & Movers – 1800 11 3456
UPS – 1800 22 7171

Home Appliances
Aiwa/Sony – 1800 11 1188
Anchor Switches – 1800 22 7979
Blue Star – 1800 22 2200
Bose Audio – 1800 11 2673
Bru Coffee Vending Machines – 1800 44 7171
Daikin Air Conditioners – 1800 444 222
DishTV – 1800 12 3474
Faber Chimneys – 1800 21 4595
Godrej – 1800 22 5511
Grundfos Pumps – 1800 33 4555
LG – 1901 180 9999
Philips – 1800 22 4422
Samsung – 1800 113 444
Sanyo – 1800 11 0101
Voltas – 1800 33 4546
WorldSpace Satellite Radio – 1800 44 5432

Investments/ Finance
CAMS – 1800 44 2267
Chola Mutual Fund – 1800 22 2300
Easy IPO’s – 3030 5757
Morgan Stanley – 1800 22 0004
Kotak Mutual Fund – 1800 222 626
LIC Housing Finance – 1800 44 0005
SBI Mutual Fund – 1800 22 3040
Sharekhan – 1800 22 7500
Tata Mutual Fund – 1800 22 0101

Travel
Club Mahindra Holidays – 1800 33 4539
Cox & Kings – 1800 22 1235
God TV Tours – 1800 442 777
Kerala Tourism – 1800 444 747
Kumarakom Lake Resort – 1800 44 5030
Raj Travels & Tours – 1800 22 9900
Sita Tours – 1800 111 911
SOTC Tours – 1800 22 3344

Healthcare
Best on Health – 1800 11 8899
Dr Batras – 1800 11 6767
GlaxoSmithKline – 1800 22 8797
Johnson & Johnson – 1800 22 8111
Kaya Skin Clinic – 1800 22 5292
LifeCell – 1800 44 5323
Manmar Technologies – 1800 33 4420
Pfizer – 1800 442 442
Roche Accu-Chek – 1800 11 45 46
Rudraksha – 1800 21 4708
Varilux Lenses – 1800 44 8383
VLCC – 1800 33 1262

Insurance
AMP Sanmar – 1800 44 2200
Aviva – 1800 33 2244
Bajaj Allianz – 1800 22 5858
Chola MS General Insurance – 1800 44 5544
HDFC Standard Life – 1800 227 227
LIC – 1800 33 4433
Max New York Life – 1800 33 5577
Royal Sundaram – 1800 33 8899
SBI Life Insurance – 1800 22 9090

Hotel Reservations
GRT Grand – 1800 44 5500
InterContinental Hotels Group – 1800 111 000
Marriott – 1800 22 0044
Sarovar Park Plaza – 1800 111 222
Taj Holidays – 1800 111 825

Teleshopping
Asian Sky Shop – 1800 22 1800
Jaipan Teleshoppe – 1800 11 5225
Tele Brands – 1800 11 8000
VMI Teleshopping – 1800 447 777
WWS Teleshopping – 1800 220 777

Others
Domino’s Pizza – 1800 111 123
Cell Phones
BenQ – 1800 22 08 08
Bird CellPhones – 1800 11 7700
Motorola MotoAssist – 1800 11 1211
Nokia – 3030 3838
Sony Ericsson – 3901 1111